Not enough dudes today know what being “manly” means…
I’m not talking about the ability to use tools (I’ll save that for a dedicated rant at a later date), or the desire to hunt or twist off beer bottle caps with their eyelids. In this particular entry, I’m talking about the inability for a dude to embrace something that MAY deem said dude a lesser dude then a dude’s dude if executed the wrong way… dude.
A simple example: Guy and girl go shopping. Girl goes into change room and asks guy to hold purse. Guy holds purse ever so awkwardly to let it be known to the masses that this purse is NOT his. Guy looks miserable, and everyone around him thinks he’s a p*ssy. DUDE, no one assumes you’re carrying that purse as your own! By hating your life that your girlfriend asked you to hold her purse for 5 minutes, you are only leading people to believe that you ARE less dudely then most. ROCK that purse bra! Throw it over your shoulder and embrace that sh@*t for those 5 minutes. That simple action will radiate confidence and up your dude factor without you even opening your mouth. Just don’t get too comfortable with it because that’s clearly not the point of this exercise. Or umm, do whatever feels right I guess? :s
But let me give you a better example from the chronicles of my waitress “research” over the years and why it’s important to ROCK every obstactle that comes your way IF you want to impress such wonderful specimens known as WOMEN.
On the raaare occasion (let’s go with that) I have a tendency to tell a se… nice waitress or bartender to choose my drink for me. I do this for several reasons. First, this steers you away from your typical drink of choice and brings a little more variety into your life. Sure. Second, it sends a nice message to the waitress that you trust them to be the decision maker of your “drink ordering experience” and builds a nice rapport between the two of you for future conversation. Third, (possibly the most important reason), 8 times out of 10 the waitress will come back with some sort of fruity looking concoction IF you play your cards right. What do I mean by this? The objective of this exercise IS to get the fruity concoction so that you can rebut her mock by ROCKING the EFF out of it and get her number. Tell her to pick a drink that she thinks would reflect your personality well. “If you could choose one drink that SCREAMS my name, what would it be?”. They’ll come back with a pinkish slushy-type thing in a martini glass to try and put you down a notch, and if you act offended or embarassed, you should probably just whisper sweet nothings to good old righty and call a cab home. “How did you know THIS was MY drink? But wait, where’s the pink umbrella???” Ironically, if you rock that fruity nonsense, pinky finger up and all, they’ll see that you are so comfortable with your dudeliness that your chances of grabbing that number at the end of the night has instantly qua-dudeled.
The moral of the story? Chicks dig confidence dude. Stop being such a p*ssy and worrying about what others may think and START embracing sh@*t! You’re a dude, and you like women… no drink or purse or any other factor is going to change that nor give anyone else the opposite impression if you’re staring one of these predicaments down eye to eye. When all else fails, show your confidence and ROCK IT like you don’t give an eff and trust me the results will be quite lovely. (Yes, lovely… we good?).