Live like a dude, just more refined.

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Live like a dude, just more refined.

If you think for one second that a mis-matched living concoction filled with misc. hand-me-downs, cheap dorm room university purchases, and random disregarded street finds is going to get you a positive reaction from the opposite sex, you are quite mistaken DUDE.

As once stated by a great duru, “women [should] fear not what lies on the floors of a dude-ists dwelling but [be] embraced by the awesomeness that awaits them[!]“

If you’ve seen that face, you know the “semi-worried, overly polite smile as to not come across as completely judgmental of your liquor bottle collection, circa last weekend”, you need to continue reading.  Believe it or not, walking slowly through your grand tour at almost a tip-toe pace is not a sign that she is taking the time to embrace your decor.  Chances are she stepped in something questionable near the kitchen and has an underlying fear that said unidentified object may have friends near by.  It has taken years of scientific research combined with case studies and recent focus groups to come to the conclusion that… wait for it… girls DON’T like gross sh*t lying around in a dude’s home.  I know, I’m shocked too.  But luckily this allows us to learn our most important lesson regarding the presentation of our home…  Keep. It. Clean.

Now let’s get to the tips on how to impress a girl with your place above and beyond having no dust mites.  Plain and simple, your home needs to be “chick friendly”, and no I’m not encouraging you to go out and purchase floral printed fabrics and paint your walls with a subtle hint of fuchsia, so sit back down and let me elaborate.  A lot of dudes (not judging you in particular yet) feel the need to translate all of their testosterone induced style sense into an absolute literal representation in their home.  Dude likes cars = Dude puts a model car collection front stage and center in his living room.  And the response…  Chick sees model car collection = Chick thinks dude is an immature boy who likes toys.  A chick-friendly approach to your passion for cars is to take one or two and strategically place them next to something more mature… like books!  Place a 1:18 scale 1967 Shelby Cobra atop your top three interesting coffee table reads and in direct line with another (may or may not have to be a 1954 Ford F100) next to a picture of you and your father on your annual fishing trip, and you have instantly shown her that you are a MAN who likes manly things (which women dig) without screaming it.  The key is subtle exposure of your character through design and decor, and balance with softer accents to offset your guy-heavy items.

Your home is not just a place to crash, but it is a representation of you in the eyes of a woman, and women read into things I’m told.  How you take care of your place translates to how you would take care of her in a relationship, so even coming from the guy with a slight bias opinion as he writes a blog about how to impress a lovely lady with your place, I would suggest taking pride in your home and truly make it yours.  To put it in perspective, we go out dressed to impress, hoping that our personal presentation will draw in positive attention from that sexy brunette with ombre accents, hipster tank, tight jeans, and colour blocked heels… What seems to be overlooked from the first impressions perspective is that you will eventually get her back to your place, and your home and living conditions represent you just the same.  Make sense?